Giving up

Today was a day where you feel like it won’t end. You just want to give up on everyone and everything and don’t give a damn. You say screw you and screw it all. I had one of those days today. I made something special for someone who has nothing and she was so excited when she got the gift. Then when someone they love said it’s awful it changes their mind on your special gift that you gave them. Which in turn makes you question what you made. I feel so small. I am a big woman so to feel small, tiny and insignificant is weird in a way but it’s true. It is good to be humbled though from time to time. 

 I made this special gift and it got shat on. By someone who thought they could do better and make it nicer and shamed me for many things and having to buy supplies which the gift receiver didn’t even have to provide. Shamed me for doing something good. Something kind and thoughtful and I was so proud and happy to give a homemade gift to someone who has no one, who has nothing. I thought I was helping. Instead I get a slap on the face.

 I over reacted in my mind I know it. But I never did take criticism well. Who does? 

What’s interesting and sad is a person I know went through a similar thing but she handled it differently. But she still felt the sting. She was harsher, angrier, and more critical. Yet I still now am able to sympathize whereas I was to quick to judge before. It’s interesting the lessons you learn when that lesson happens to you. 

There is an exception, you shouldn’t become bitter, don’t give up. Don’t hate don’t be angry. I wear my feelings on my sleeves all to often and it’s high time I pull those sleeves back and toughin up a bit. You will make an impression on someone because you tried. Because you cared, because you loved. Love is the most important as long as you do it from love and kindness keep on keeping on. 

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